Hello, Homeschoolers!

It's almost here!  Summer is just around the corner.  I always know summer is approaching because  it's taking twice as long as it normally does to get through our schoolwork each day.  This is due, I'm sure, to the mysterious fever known as "spring".   It's funny how just a few days of 85 degree weather can turn our thoughts from science to swimming in a real hurry... but I won't tell if you won't!

This issue of FCHM's ezine is all about being REAL.  Parents who homeschool sometimes face enormous pressure--- pressure to have "perfect" kids, pressure from curious neighbors and relatives who want to quiz the kids each time they see them (what is the square root of 249?) and pressure from other homeschoolers.   It's often a real struggle to be honest about the day to day joys and frustrations of homeschooling.  Why?  Because being real means sharing your joys and your sorrows, your successes and your failures.   

For years, I allowed other people's expectations to set the pace of our homeschooling.   Later,  I  let the same mentality bring legalism  into our homeschool.  I worried about my approach to education (classical?  eclectic? unschooling? school-at-home?) and soon I was overwhelmed and frustrated.   To schedule or not to schedule?  Should we sew our own clothes?  Garden?  Bake our own bread from wheat we grew in our little city garden?   What if I didn't like gardening?  What if my kids didn't mind store-bought bread?

I will never forget the day when my mini-van pulled up in front of the church for our homeschool co-op classes and the evidence of half eaten Happy Meals fell out from the sliding door.  My "fast-food secret" was out.  God must have been laughing at my embarrassment over such a small thing.  But it didn't feel small to me.  I was trying to live up to an expectation that didn't come from the Lord, and our kids were living with it, too.

It took the gentle leading of the Holy Spirit and the constant love and affirmation of my husband for me to finally begin to allow my expectations to be shaped by the Lord.  I needed to be real - to admit when I was feeling unsure of an academic challenge, to cry with a good friend who would let me be myself, and to simply allow the Lord to reveal to me the unique and changing needs of each of our children from year to year. 

Here's the best part: God was doing His heart-work in our family, not just in spite of our weaknesses, but through them!  As I began to lean hard into the Lord, He began to fill me with more confidence in my ability to homeschool, and I began to worry less about what others  thought.   It was then that I began to experience the peace and joy that only comes from surrendering daily to the Lord.

When you start to feel like you don't measure up to your best friend's style of homeschooling, or you find yourself wondering why you don't fit into the neat "homeschool mold" you saw on the cover of a magazine, remember that only God holds the blueprint for your family.

He's found the perfect parents for your kids.  It's you!     God chose YOU to raise the precious children you have.  Think about it this way:  of all the parents in the world, you were God's perfect choice to be the parents of your children.  No one else can do it like you can.   That's not to say we can't learn from each other, or that we shouldn't challenge each other to grow- but we need to keep our eyes on things that are of eternal significance.

Even if you served your family Cheerios for dinner three times this past month,  if you will keep your eyes on things of eternal significance, God will bless your efforts. 

God's desire is that we would find our rest, our security, our answers and our confidence in Him as we seek His will for our families.  We  do that by staying grounded in God's Word, and by allowing Him to knit our hearts together as a family and a community of Christ followers.

 And yes - it's true.  When I finally let go of the expectations that others placed on me (or unrealistic expectations that I placed on myself) I began to discover that God would use my brokenness and my struggles even more than my "successes", because it was in my weakness that He was proven faithful!  Look at what Paul said in 2 Corinthians:

That's powerful stuff.   What experience did God bring you through?  Tell others the story of God's faithfulness in your life and watch how He will use it for His purposes.  One life, one family, one homeschool co-op at a time.

Thankful for His Grace,
Heidi St. John

Jay and Heidi St. John have been married for over 18 years and are the homeschooling parents of six children who range in age from sixteen to two.  Heidi speaks to mothers with humor and grace on many subjects dealing with homeschooling.  If you are interested in having the St. Johns speak at your event, please contact them through FCHM.